Maybe It's Me, Not the Civilians

After six years I ETS'd and immediately got into university, completing my degree in three years at DeVry. They have good programs for undergraduate degrees, and are fairly reasonably priced (considering residency issues). That led to jobs that quickly rocketed me up the pay scale and provided access to specialization in the big enterprise applications such as  SAP and Oracle. 

At the time my perception of non-veterans was a bit low. Had a hard time figuring out why my roomates were so lazy and couldn't be counted on to follow through on agreements (cleaning up after themselves, not eating my food, etc). 

Then it struck me after I met a young lady who had a profound impact on my life, that not only was I generalizing about people being lazy and irresponsible but I was also projecting my own need for order onto others. 

It took me several years to get myself in check, and I still fight myself from time to time over the sense of superiority still I hold near and dear. We did more by 8 a.m. than most people do all day, if I recall the cadence correctly. It has become part of who we are. 

So my re-integration into civil society had a few rough patches, but by focusing on serving others and giving more than I get I'm able to get my head in the right place. And of course my wife has been my anchor and my bridge. She has held me close when I needed it and pushed me out the front door when I wanted to crawl back into bed for the day. I owe everything I'm and have today to her love and patience and tenderness. 

After being out for 18 years, looking back I'm comfortable saying that the six years I spent on active duty between Korea, Ft. Devens and Germany were clearly the most formative of my life. Everything else has come as a result. In retrospect, I'm also comfortable saying that I wish I had spent more time working a second job bartending at the O-Club or taking extra classes toward my degree before I got out because time is a factor that works against us. Before you know it five and 10 years are gone. 

My advice to anyone in transition or getting ready to transition is as follows:

1) Don't take yourself or others too seriously, especially in the beginning.

2) Laugh as much as you can, and look for opportunities to make other laugh along with you.

3) Be kind to yourself and the people around you, they will be all you have left in the end.

4) Make sure you do what makes you happy, but also keep in mind that being broke all the time is not a pleasant way to live so pick a skillset that will let you earn at least $60,000 a year.

5) Find peace by bringing it to others who are less fortunate than you, so volunteer at one of the thousands of non-profits in your area.

6) Take advantage of everything the VA and other departments offer, that's what we pay taxes for. 

Best of luck to all of you! In all things be safe!

(Submitted by A.B.)

Comments

[Oguthrie]

I thoroughly enjoyed your post, Sir.

I, too, served in the military. As a matter of fact, I retired honorably from the U.S. Air Force in 1997 after serving 24 years...and had a job waiting for me with a Defense Contractor.

However, being laid off FROM that job 2 years later was not what I expected, AT ALL. I learned, the hard way, that the transition does not end once you've found a job on the "outside". But being laid off only reaffirmed that not only did I have what employers wanted, but that I HAVE SOMETHING MORE !

I had, and HAVE a deeply ingrained, well taught outlook I received FROM the military that applies even though I've been out of the military nearly 12 years !

What more ? Same as you...and all of us.

"Train the way you'll fight. Fight the way you've trained."

I associate myself with your comment about having a superior attitude that is near and dear. THAT IS THE ATTITUDE that makes you (and us) winners, still !

You've spoken true words about making sure you do what makes you happy, and to also keep in mind that being broke all the time is not a pleasant way to live.

I was especially touched by your poignant description of your lady. Brother, where would we be without the steadfast love of a good woman? I may make the living, but she makes the living worthwhile.

So I LEARNED a skillset that will let ME EARN as much as I am willing to put into it, not just limited to $60,000 a year.

Oh, YES ! You've GOT what it takes !

Now TAKE what you've got....and use it!

Find out how I also "do more by 8 AM than most do all day" by clicking on the "Oguthrie" URL, below.